Approximately one-half way though the services I caught hold of myself and really began to sober up fast. I began to take stock of my situation and was anything but pleased. I came to a near panic and almost stampeded out of the Church. Fortunately, I maintained my calm and decided to wait and leave with everyone else. I am 6' tall, plus 3" heels and about a 2” fluff on the wig made me a 6'6" tall wo- man who will attract attention anyplace. I became so conscious of the height that I sat throughout the entire service!! I casually inspected my legs and found they at least looked good and I hoped my make-up was satisfactory. I was wearing a pair of sun-glasses also which helped a little. All that I could think of during the second half of the service was "You damn fool! Look at where you are and what you've done!” Needless to say I did do some ardent praying that I would get home O.K.

When Mass was over I found my confidence return. Making sure my gloves covered my hairy arms up to the sleeves of my 34 length jacket, I stood up and walked out of the Church. As I walked out the door one of the ushers smiled and handed me a church bulletin. Again I nearly panicked but I held on shaking like a leaf, smiled back and kept on going. I thought I would never reach my car. My high heels sounded like cannon on the sidewalk (at least I thought so) and people were all around. At long last I reached my car and drove home. I had one more close call when I realized it was 6:45 a.m. and a fellow officer lives four doors away from me and was working the early watch so he should be leaving for work any minute. I drove once around the block, saw he was still home and then took the plunge and drove into my driveway and practically flew up the stairs and inside. I had made it!

Yeah, I sure did! When I stop and think back about this episode I realize how great a risk I took by being so stupid. I stood to lose so much, all because I would not heed the danger signals telling me to lay off the booze when TV is urging me to dress. Booze and TV make an extremely dangerous combination. I have learned my lesson and learned it extremely well. My hope is that a TV who is over-confident will read this before he takes that plunge and steps outside. Properly escorted, dressed, behaved, and SOBER, makes all the difference in the world. FPE gives the opportunity to dress among friends without a grave element of danger. My parting words to those who are about to open that door are, “Weigh the consequences versus the possible benefits before you take that first step outside."

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